DEPARTMENT OF ENGINEERING. how to.

HOW TO MAKE A GARDEN THAT’S SHAPED LIKE A STAIN ON YOUR RUG

     

First you need to stain your carpet…house parties are good for this.  Then once you’ve got the stain, trace it onto some kind of transparent material.  I used a plastic record sleeve.

     
 

Draw a grid over this drawing that is eight squares by eight squares (you can use more squares if you suck and can’t draw). 

Next go outside and in the most central part of the yard layout a grid which corresponds to the one that you drew.  I used a tape measure and marked all the corners of a square with long nails.  Then I measured diagonally across each corner to make sure that I had actually drawn a square.  Then I marked with nails at even increments to provide a square that was divided into 64 equal parts.  I then stretched string from each nail to make the grid.

     
 

After this, carefully examine your drawing and use it to draw a larger more bigger version of itself onto the grass.  You might ask yourself at this point…how do I draw on grass?  The answer is simple: Dr. Scholl’s foot powder that some Mexican guy gave you!

     
 

Okay, now dig out the sod and throw it away (or plant it somewhere as a grass garden).  Next fill up the hole with new dirt, plant a bunch of expired seeds and hope they grow!  I suggest Cosmos, Bachelor Buttons and Sunflowers.  Make sure to water everything, weed the Crab Grass out and protect it from rabbits and hail.

     
 

And now the funnest part of gardening…waiting for months!

     
  Well, here’s the results.  A beautiful garden (?)  The Cosmos didn’t make it (c/o the rabbits), but the sunflowers proved to be fairly resilient and the bachelor buttons grew nicely.  If you leave the heads on the sunflowers the birds can eat them in the winter.  It’s easy and fun!  Gardening!
     

 

© 2007 The Arbour Lake Sghool